It has been ages since I wrote something other than journal entries. I guess I have always known it. But I never did anything about it. Yesterday, I saw a movie that made me realize something I would love to do in life, as part of my work. It has rekindled the writer in me and is driving me to write out my thoughts and theories as I used to.
I write this after a break of almost 2 years. Reading through some of what I wrote earlier has made me realize that the quality of my writing has deteriorated to a great extent. When I went through some of those past poems and articles, I couldn’t even believe that I had written them! If you ask me why I couldn’t find time to write for so long, the only answer I can give is that I have been busy with life. I have entered a new phase of life. I had to go through a new beginning. It is when I am back home that I realize how I have changed and to what extent.
My homeland has drained me of so much that I held dear to heart. I used to believe that life should be lived, that we should strive to make a difference in each day in order to make life worth living. But presently, I am so caught up in a routine, monotonous life that I have lost much of the zest I had for life.
I have a lot of dreams in life. I’m sure about what I want from life. I have always been motivated and inspired by my dreams and goals. But once I got caught up in this routine, I seem to be losing touch with my dreams. This realization has caused a lot of depression and I have been trying my best to hold onto these goals which form the meaning of my existence.
Apart from causing me to lose my zest for life and my drive or motivation, this new stage in life has also caused havoc in the relationship I share with some of my best friends. It has rendered me lonely and very much unhappy.
I know I cannot change anything by complaining or lamenting. I know I cannot change my life back to how it was. But that does not mean I can sit back and watch while I lose what matters most in my life. All that I can do, at this point, is probably try to regain what I have lost. Inspiration, zeal and happiness are never hard or scarce to obtain as long as you learn to look deeply into yourself or learn from others’ lives. Reading some of what I wrote in the past has helped me learn so much from my own writings. I have regained so much of the inspiration I needed. And I intend to look ahead and keep hoping for the best, while I ensure that I am not daunted by those around me, that I do not lose the will and zeal to live each moment.
For all those out there who might face, be facing or have faced similar situations, I hope this experience of mine proves to you that you are not alone. Hope it helps you derive the requisite courage to go on, knowing that you are not alone in your suffering. Apart from being a helping hand to those like me out there, I just intended to draw some motivation from myself; for writing always serves to provide me with an insight into myself and helps me think clearer.
Live life to the fullest… Be positive and keep going ahead, hoping for the best! 🙂