My college is one that does not encourage or tolerate (romantic) relationships at all. Sometimes, I feel this should be emphasized in bold, block letters in the college prospectus and in front of the college, too. I find it a very weird rule…Yeah, this is mentioned as one of the ‘rules’ of this college. Don’t they feel at all stupid when they say something like this? Inspite of the reputation of the college and the high qualification of the teachers, how come they don’t have the dignity and sense to respect a person’s privacy and decisions pertaining to his/her life? What right do they have to intrude into the private life of another person, even if it is a student?
To be frank, it isn’t just romantic relationships. My college should have a board at the front of it, saying: ‘BEWARE! ANY KIND OF CLOSE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN STUDENTS OF OPPOSITE SEX WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, WHATEVER IT MAYBE. (WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN FRIENDSHIPS OR SIBLING-LIKE BONDS/WHATEVER BETWEEN STUDENTS OF OPPOSITE SEX. THEY SIMPLY DON’T EXIST.)’ That about sums up the attitude of most teachers and authoritative figures here. Of course, there are a rare few with sense. I admire them for surviving among these others who are so ignorant about these matters. If a guy and girl are seen talking for more than, say, 3 or 4 times, suspicion arises and the two are put under constant watch and scrutiny. Of course, this doesn’t stop relationships from happening. In fact, they thrive over here. But these f-ing rules are an absolute pain in the neck for others (like me) who enjoy the company and friendship of guys without the implication of a romantic involvement.
One such irritating incident, recently, has incited me to write this. I doubt I’ll ever get a chance to properly react to that person. So, I turned to my greatest relief and outlet for pent-up emotions – writing! 🙂 This is just an attempt to let out what I’m feeling, I don’t intend anything more than that. I wouldn’t really mind if the person reads this someday, though.
Please Note: I do not mean any offence to anyone else.
This is addressed to that person, in response to his rude and biased behaviour towards me.
I do no wish to address you as sir because, to be honest, I do not think you deserve it completely and you have not behaved as a good teacher should. It was after coming here that I realized that I have had the privilege of knowing some of the best teachers ever…back at my school! And as far as I think, you can never reach upto their level, however qualified you maybe.
Anyhow, that isn’t what I wanted to talk about. I want to let you know that I completely detested the way you spoke to me the previous day. I’m the kind of person who believes that each individual deserves to be respected for who they are…and this invariably entails a respect for their privacy and what they do in their life. I expect others to show this same respect towards me, at least in a most basic manner. After having been with some really brilliant teachers (who were brilliant in every aspect), I’m amazed and shocked that most teachers here do not bother about anything of this sort. I feel the way you treated me was very unbecoming for a teacher and of course, humiliating for me.
I do not blame you for arriving to the more obvious conclusion (regarding the situation), as you have done in my case. It is natural that you tend to believe what you see & what you think. But I wish to point out that you shouldn’t make the mistake of trusting what you think to be what is right. You could try to find out what exactly is the truth. See, perceptions of what is right and wrong vary with people. My right and wrong may not be the same as yours. It’s nobody’s fault. But when you treat someone in a biased manner just because they did something that’s not ‘right’ for you…that certainly is very wrong.
As far as I know (and many others corroborate this), you divide students into 2 categories, generally – ones who are in a relationship and ones who aren’t. Your behaviour towards the students of each category is biased and drastically different. Losing your temper, using ‘poking’ comments/comments with a lot of inner meaning, prejudiced and humiliating behaviour towards students are some of the lowest ways possible in which a teacher can react. And why all this? Just because they don’t adhere to your perceptions of right? Next time you are tempted to do something like this, please take the time to think. Try to find out if your conclusion is true and then go about with your reaction. And I hope the reaction will be something more measured, dignified and sensible.
Dear person, it doesn’t really count if you are considered a great teacher or as someone with a lot of degrees or someone who is highly qualified. At least in a broader, wider perspective for life, none of this does. At the end of the day, if you have been able to earn the respect of at least one student or if a student has addressed you as a ‘sir’/teacher, meaning it completely and believing you deserve it…that’s what counts, ultimately! That is when you will truly qualify as a teacher. Someday, if you read this, I hope you will understand what I’m talking about. I wish you all the best in your life ahead.
With no particular feelings,