My best friend, Kiran, once said, “It’s a good thing that we became friends. I help in keeping you rooted to reality and you remind me not to stop dreaming.” I loved what she said. Because it was wonderfully phrased and very true. I’m a person who is half-lost in my own world of dreams while she is more rational and sensible. One subject on which our opinions are poles apart is true love. She does not believe in anything of that sort; I do.
For her, true love exists in books and movies alone. It does not happen in real life. It’s just not sensible enough to be possible. True. But I love the idea because of this very lack of sense. I know it’s a really teenag-ish thought…something adolescents choose to dream about, But I have always been a firm believer in the concept of true love. It does exist. Some time in life, you will encounter your version of it. Just keep your eyes and heart open to its magic. 🙂
Anyhow, one valuable lesson I have learnt, the hard way, is that even though true love may happen, there is no such thing as a Mr./Ms. Perfect. Everyone has a certain picture of the person they want in life…the person’s qualities, appearance, behaviour…their own portrayal of Mr./Ms. Perfect. Being the super-dreamy person I am, I had a picture of my Mr. Perfect, too. Not physical attributes, just a kind of checklist listing out the qualities and traits I would want in my guy.
I always held this ‘guy’ close to heart, unknowingly or subconsciously seeking him in every guy I liked. But there would always be something missing, something wrong. I held onto the belief that I would meet him someday in life…someone who is a living embodiment of my concept of Mr. Perfect. I never lost hope. I kept waiting…thinking I would find happiness, love and eternal bliss once I met him.
Did I meet him? Well, I think I did. I met a guy who matched my concept perfectly (only exception being: he wasn’t an avid reader). I was on cloud nine (of course)!!! We connected so well, so amazingly well. We knew each other to a very surprising extent; we could even predict the other’s response to certain comments or situations. He made me laugh like hell, which is something really important for me. He was my definition of happiness. Everything was great, perfect. After all, I had met ‘my guy’.
It took me some time to realize that I was very drastically wrong. He might have been exactly like the guy I had in mind and all that. But I understood that he wasn’t really what he showed himself to be. In a lot of ways, he was not genuine. As in, he did have all that I was looking for, but was wrong in so many other ways. My friends, particularly Kiran (being ever so sensible), did see through his pretenses but I was never ready to believe any of it. Until I understood it myself. Yes, it was painful but I could not ruin my own life, being with a guy like that, however perfect he maybe. So then… I saw light! 🙂
You might have a checklist (virtual or real) of attributes your Mr./Ms. Perfect will possess. It is certainly good that you know what you want. But the ugly truth is: he/she, most probably, does not exist (barring unnatural exceptions)! You can make yourself believe that someone is perfect for you, but that does not necessarily have to be true. Another possible problem is: while you are so eagerly busy searching for this perfect person, you could pass by your soulmate (someone who is meant for you, even if he/she maybe different from your idea of ‘perfect’) without even noticing him/her. Personally, I think that would be far worse than not finding someone adhering to my concept of Mr. Perfect.
Since I dream a lot, too, I know so many out there will disagree with me. They will choose to hold onto their fantasy of meeting their Mr./Ms. Perfect. If it were earlier, I would have done that, too. But, in the long run, a relationship acquires meaning when you are able to accept the person’s flaws and love him/her in spite of it all. However perfect the person maybe, if his flaws outbalance the perfectness, how can it possibly work?
So, I had to go through this very painful, awful ‘relationship’ to learn this very valuable lesson. Like they say, everything happens for good. Maybe my enlightenment was the good intended to come out of the said relationship. 😀