[Written yesterday evening] So, I’m not really going through the best time of my life right now. Actually, I would say this is one of the shittiest times I have been through recently! And to think that my own dear friends are responsible for it! Well, looking at the brighter side of it, atleast I got to realize who my true friends are. Not like I had a doubt about that. But now, I have it confirmed! Right on time, I met this guy who kinda reminds me of a guardian angel or a fairy godmother (‘godfather’ in this case). Actually, I had met him sometime during last year but we began talking (actually, texting) only recently. And I’m serious…he is a lot like a guardian angel, for me. I can’t explain. Even though it’s only been a very short while since we started contacting each other, I have begun to feel a sort of confidence and trust in him…that is, well, unusually….unusual! Couldn’t put it better! 🙂 And his timing couldn’t have been more right!
[Right now] Forget the shit I wrote about the guardian angel and stuff. Those kind of people don’t exist in real life. Atleast, not in the world I’ve lived in for the past 20 years. There might be people who seem to be perfect or really good but that doesn’t make them an angel! I don’t know why I end up acting like a moron and then regretting it. It’s high time I got some sense knocked into my head! I’m sorry I can’t explain this in a more comprehensible manner. I did think this guy was something akin to an angel and all that. Maybe he is. But yesterday, I was struck by a lightning of ‘sense’…and I realized I was being super-stupid. To explain in the simplest words, this guy did something that I NEVER expected from him…and I was hurt(very much), angry and confused. He did apologize and seemed to truly regret what he did. But somehow, that thread of intimacy I had with him has snapped. He might not have done anything so unforgivably wrong but I was going through some very trying situations myself and he touched on a sensitive issue. Yes, I forgive him…but this incident has opened my eyes to how foolishly blind I can be, at times. Actually, always! This wasn’t the first time. So, I think it’s high time that I began showing some semblance of sense in my interactions with others.
So, like I said in the beginning, this is one of the shittiest times I have had to go through recently…and now, it has just turned all the more shittier. There’s this line from a Hindi movie (Jab We Met) that I always tell myself during such times. It can be translated to something like this: “If you think what’s happening with you is the worst, then have hope, because it can’t get any worse. So, good has to happen.” It does make sense, doesn’t it? If it’s the worst happening with you, it really can’t get any worse. So, what happens next has to be some form of good. This is what I tell myself to pull me through bad times, like now. And I’ve never gone wrong. 😀 I wish I could watch that movie now (Jab We Met, that is). That’s one movie that always manages to make me feel a LOT better and happier. Not to mention, it makes me laugh so much, every time I watch it. And it reminds me of one of my very close friends – Saba (she’s like the real-life version of the lead female character). In many ways, I would say that movie has been a source of inspiration for me. Geet (the character played by Kareena Kapoor) has influenced me in a way movie characters rarely do…and I’m sure you would see a bit of her in me. What I love about the move is the sheer life in it… There’s so much of joy and energy throughout the movie that you can’t sit through it without feeling good deep within. The dialogues are awesome…and I love the profundity of some of them…especially the one that says about how you should live life, listen to your heart and do what you want; so, even if you go wrong, you know it was your own decision and you don’t have to blame anyone else for what’s happening with you. Isn’t that far better than living your life by the rules someone else sets down for you and then later blaming them for wrecking your life? I don’t think I could ever stop talking about this movie!
Actually, talking about it (and the googling for some dialogues I love from it) has lifted my spirits considerably! I’m already feeling a lot better. See what it can do to me? 🙂 This is what I was talking about!
Oooops! I think I have done it again…another one of my rambling episodes where I start off on something and end up in something completely different. Anyway, it’s done me good. So, no worries, I suppose. I’m looking forward to a lazy, uneventful weekend. How about you? 🙂