Moving On Can Be Super-Scary!

I just have two more weeks left! I don’t believe this. I can’t believe almost two months have gone by so fast! I’m already going crazy, thinking of the hell lot of stuff I’ll have to do once I get back. And apart from the tension, one emotion that’s been disturbing me is the sorrow of leaving. Once I start working, I have no idea when I’ll be able to come here on a vacation like this. For now, I’m just pushing aside that thought. For later.

It might sound stupid to some and crazy to some others. Even I’m amazed at what I’m about to embark on. I have absolutely no idea about what to do or how to go about with things, once I get back to India. I’m planning to move to a city that’s completely new and strange to me. I don’t even have close friends there! And I have no plan, not even a rough idea of how I intend to make this happen. Am I scared? Hell, yes, I am. Am I tensed? Yes, very much, even though I’m keeping a large part of it for later.

I seriously don’t know how I am going to find a place to stay, live by myself, manage everything by myself in a completely new city… I did NOT tell my parents about how scared I’m. I don’t think I ever will. They are already pretty freaked out and tensed. They tried tempting me with the idea of working over here. But I stayed firm on my decision. Anyway, I don’t want them to know I’m super-clueless, too. All that worry could be injurious to their health. 🙂

I did talk about this with some friends. Some of them said they believed I could do it, that I’d be able to pull through these situations. But a couple of my closest friends (one of them being Saba) were really concerned and asked me to think well before deciding. Saba, in particular, was super-worried. She tried her best to talk me into staying here. And, to be frank, she made me think about a lot of aspects that hadn’t occurred to me. Anyhow, eventually, she supported me in my decision. Not because I convinced her or anything (I doubt I’ll ever be able to do that!). But because she knows me.

For one thing, I’m firm (read: stubborn) when it comes to my decisions. Another thing, as she rightly pointed out, is that if I fall for my parents’ suggestion and stay back, I’ll never be able to feel fully happy. I will always wonder how things would have turned out had I gone forward with my plan. And it will keep gnawing at my happiness. So, she told me that it’s better that I go ahead with my decision. Otherwise I’ll never be happy. 🙂 I love her for saying that!

I’m aware of the risk I’m taking. I know things can go wrong. Very wrong. But, let’s just be positive. And, even if something goes wrong, I know I’ll deal with it somehow. That’s what life is about, after all. That’s how you learn to live! Exactly why I want to take this risk. I want to get out of the comfort zone that I’ve been in all these years, know what it is like to live by myself, deal with problems on my own…experience life. 🙂

Lot of hopes, dreams…and yes, a tiny bit of worries. Let’s wait and see how things turn out to be! 🙂

11 thoughts on “Moving On Can Be Super-Scary!

  1. I can understand your concern. I’m very much a homebody, so when I had to go away to school, I was extremely nervous. I was a shy wallflower all through high school and worried about making friends and meeting strangers. Amazingly enough, I had nothing to worry about. My roommates were all as nervous as I was, so we got along great. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.

    The daughter of a dear friend had an opportunity of working in India for a year. She had never spoken the language or been there before. She thrived. She even travelled all over, by herself, and managed quite well. She did so well that an organization related to her field of study invited her back to speak at a conference.

    Both examples illustrate how taking a chance can be the best thing for a person. I think if you were to turn down this opportunity, you would regret it, eventually. As long as you’re careful, you should have no problems. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly and start packing! 🙂

    • Thank you so much for the real-life examples. They were seriously uplifting! 🙂 It feels so good to find such a lot of encouragement.

  2. rosh…..dnt b worried….dnt go there thinking “i duno whn i ll cum nxt” go there jst for the sake of havin a new xperience…jst tht…discover a new place, live on ur own….n nothin to b worried, if u dun like it there u cn always cum baq ryt, u have a back up option so chill n go ahead wid ur decision happily. having a back up is always better

  3. Wow this is the beginning of a really great adventure. It will keep your mind active, and you will end up with lots of things to blog about. I can’t wait to hear of the adventures that await you!

    • I’m sure you won’t be disappointed. You will atleast get to hear of all the silly troubles I fall into. 🙂

  4. i don’t see you as having silly troubles. I see a Roshni before me with intellect and charm that with God’s help can do anything she puts her mind to. The fear of the unknown is normal but you can use that trepidation and channel it and conquer every obstacle you encounter – even time zones!

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