[Written yesterday afternoon]
Sometimes, you get silenced by the voices around you. And when you find so many voices around you, drowning out yours, you feel kind of lost. I went through an experience of that sort. Maybe it’s the novelty of the situation or the so many new people around me. And yes, another reason could be that I’m still trying to get comfortable and settled with the people and surroundings.
Todayafternoon (that is, yesterday), I went through something like this. While I sat at one end of the table, having lunch, I observed my colleagues around me. I listened to their conversation, flowing easily, exuding the comfort that comes with friendship. My head was so filled with those voices and thoughts…to such an extent that I realized it was drowning out mine. At that moment, I felt lost…in a lot of ways.
I couldn’t find my voice, I couldn’t make sense of my thoughts…and I found myself trying hard to find words, find my voice. I’ve come across some intriguing people, who muddle up my thoughts when I try to figure them out. To be frank, it’s the first time I’m experiencing something like this. I’m amused, but also disturbed. Amused because I like trying to figure out these people. Disturbed because it’s a horrible feelings hen you lose your voice. I feel restless, scared, intimidated, suffocated and, yes…utterly, helplessly LOST!