You know what I hate about my work? Not dislike or disapprove. But truly hate? The fact that it has robbed me of time for myself, my
passions and people who matter. I don’t remember when was the last time I got to be by myself, just enjoy some solitude and peace, doing what I feel like. I can’t recall when was the last time I spent a truly happy, relaxing weekend by myself. I miss writing, blogging and reading. I miss the touch of my books…the feel of pen running over paper…the exhilaration of fingers falling over the keys and forming coherent words on the screen. I miss spending time with friends, talking to them.
Last day, I was writing in my diary after a long time. And I realized how much I miss writing. It has been a long time since I wrote out what’s in my head. And my head’s never devoid of thoughts, I’m sure you know. It was never (and never will be) the lack of thoughts that caused this gap. After a tiring, draining day at work, there’s only so much energy in you…and the time and zeal are so not enough to help me stay up.
But I noticed something very surprising, during the past two weeks. Almost every day after my previous post, my daily stats have crossed the usual numbers. Which is super-awesome…and inspiring, in some ways, since I’m getting a good number of visitors when I haven’t posted in around 2 weeks.
Today morning, after a long, long time, I’m alone. My roommate left for work by 5:30am, after waking me up. The others have gone home and will be back sometime today. Taking hold of the awesome opportunity, I got up early. After finishing off some chores, I thought I would sit out in the balcony area and, perhaps, enjoy the morning. Sunshine, breeze, clear blue sky (after a heavy rain). And, coffee. But then, that’s what I do every morning. And so, for a change, I’m listening to some awesome music and letting out those pent-up thoughts of past two weeks (some of them, that is).
I have been through a super-difficult week at work. It has taken a toll on my happiness and peace of mind. At a certain point, I was almost on the verge of quitting. But then, I wondered, “Is this all I can endure? If I don’t have the strength to go through something as silly as work pressure, how can I ever be able to live through life?” And I had made my decision. It’s true that I miss a lot of significant things. But I know that this will pass… Passion is not something that leaves you one fine day. If it did, it wouldn’t be called passion. Like I’m doing now, I’ll always come back to what means most to me. How could I not? When this is what makes me ‘ME’ – the power to put
crazy thoughts into words and the nerve to put it out in the open for all to see.
[About to hit the ‘Publish’ button, and I think : “Whoa! That felt great. Brilliant way to start the week.”] 🙂