This post is so totally about me! So, it could be boring. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you! So, if you want to turn back (ie. if you have something better to do), please do so NOW!
Time seems to have gone by so fast. I still can’t believe I’m going to be done with college within a couple of months (hardly). But when I think about it, I realize that even though these 3 years may have gone incredibly fast, it has had a great impact on me. I have changed a lot…a lot more than what meets the eye. In essence, yes, I’m still the same. But in many ways, trivial and significant, I have changed. My thoughts and perceptions about so many aspects of life have undergone a transformation. The bond I share with some friends and my family have changed.
When I thought about it, I realized that I’m a different person now…a lot different from the person I was on the first day of college. I can feel it in me. Now, sometimes, when I talk, I think inside my head how new it all sounds to me, how much my views have changed. It strikes me that this isn’t me…or atleast, not the person I was. Initially, I was surprised. I had never expected this. But I love whatever changes have happened. And that gave me an idea – to write down the major or relevant changes in me, over the past 3 years.
Before: I used to believe one should have an ambition and should work hard towards accomplishing it. I always thought it was essential to find that one perfect job where you could find happiness for the rest of your life.
Now: I don’t think it’s necessary to stick to a certain career line for a whole lifetime. I think life should be experienced…and that, inevitably, involves doing what you want, what gives you happiness. Yesterday, in class, a teacher said that the youngsters of today don’t have a clear-cut goal or a sense of where they want to be. Well, I may not have a clear-cut goal but I’m truly happy with that. How can you plan for a future that is completely unpredictable? Yes, you can have dreams but a goal makes your life rigid…focused only on that particular outcome, not letting you do something else you might like better. I prefer keeping my options open, not restricting myself to anything. There’s a lot of things I want to do, lot of places I want to be… A goal wouldn’t let me live all that! Though maybe, you could say that my goal is to fulfill all my different, crazy dreams! 🙂
Before: I was really pious and an absolute believer.
Now: My perceptions about religion and God have changed so drastically. Now, I have formed my own concept about what’s God (as opposed to who it is). And I don’t believe in religion. Sometimes, I think God is more like an entity that men created so that they could blame someone for what’s happening to them. Well, that’s just another weird thought I had. No offense meant! Anyway, I guess that shows how much I have changed in this aspect!
Before: I believed that there existed a Mr. Right for me, somewhere out there, someone who was exactly the way I wanted my guy to be, someone for whom I would be a perfect match, blah blah.
Now: I do NOT believe in a Mr. Right anymore. You might find someone you truly love, someone who understands and accepts you as you are. But the whole concept of a Mr. Perfect is a total fantasy and nothing more (I have already blogged about this, and in case you want to check it out – Seeing Through Mr. Perfect…). My perceptions about relationships have changed like hell, too. I have become a lot more broad-minded and less demanding. I believe a relationship does not have to mean being together 24*7. It involves giving each other the time and space they need (something everyone might know but rarely put into practice), letting the other have a life of their own, knowing that you are always an inseparable part of it. It is about respecting each other’s choices and decisions…and a lot more, of course!
Before: I never had a particular attachment to my family. Yes, I loved them but I didn’t miss them when I was away or feel anything very deep.
Now: I’m extremely attached to my family! I may not be close with my parents beyond a certain extent but I’m really attached to them and my sisters. I miss them so badly. Even as I type this out, I wish I were back at home with them! 😦
Before: Until I got to college, I had only seen a small part of the world, known very few people. I didn’t know much of how diverse people could be. I never knew how fickle some could be.
Now: After coming to college, I have met so many different kinds of individuals. Now, I understand people a lot better and deeper. I have come to understand that there are people with so many different perspectives, behaviours and characters. And I have learnt to accept all of them, learnt to see through them, atleast to an extent. I have also realized the meaning of true friendship. Back at school, I had so many friends. We used to have this great gang and I thought we would be in touch even after school got over. I was very very wrong! But those who are still with me, I’m sure, will stay for life. And I know it will be the same after college. Those who stay, will stay.
Before: I used to study, atleast for the exams.
Now: I don’t bother to study. I go for the exams without even touching the books. The reason is simple enough: I hate the stuff I’m studying!
These are the major changes I could think of. Apart from these, some relevant changes would be: I started blogging (best thing that happened to me in 2011!!!); my perceptions about guys have changed a LOT; I have understood myself better; I discovered something I would love to do in life. And so many more imperceptible changes. I think I have begun loving changes!!! 🙂