Just Out of The Coma

*treads lightly*

*trying to find my footing*

*stumbles, gets up*

*starts over again*

Clearly, I’m feeling a little lost. Like I’m trying to relearn something that was familiar but feels so strange now. Which isn’t far from the truth, of course. Anyway, here goes.

Sometime when I was in high school, I read about Alex Garland’s The Coma in a magazine.  And, immediately added it to my mental to-read list. The basic plot goes something like this: it starts with the protagonist being attacked by a group of men, one night, following which he falls into a coma. The rest of the book is just him and his consciousness talking, trying to make sense of reality and dreams. I’m sure the magazine must have put it in a much more interesting way, but, well, you get the idea.

It took almost ten years for me to get hold of that book but I finally read it a few days ago. And absolutely loved it, by the way. But then, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I can’t seem to take up another book because I’m still sort of stuck in The Coma. And I felt compelled to write about it, atleast as a way of closure if nothing else (I love books that do that to me!).

When I started off with the book, I remember wondering why it wasn’t made into a movie, considering it deals with a gripping subject. You know, with all the talk about conscious and subconscious, it could neatly fit into the same category as Stay, for instance. However, as I read on, I realized why it couldn’t (and shouldn’t) be a movie.

From the start till the end, all you know about the character is his name (Carl). You don’t know where he is from, what his profession is, what he looks like or even what the other people in the book look like! Much like in a dream, the places and situations just keep shifting constantly, leaving you feeling disoriented. And intrigued. This vague, hazy plot definitely couldn’t be a movie. And, even if it were made into one, it would make absolutely no sense (I’m still trying to understand the ending, in fact).

And. yet, I loved the book. Why? I really don’t know. The first thing that struck me as interesting was that the pages weren’t numbered. It may not seem like a big deal but then, it takes off the sense of order that page numbers could give (and that works perfectly for the dream-like sequences), adding to the confusion. Maybe I loved it because it’s so unconventional. Or, perhaps, because it makes sense and yet doesn’t. Because there’s no right or wrong by which you can judge what Carl goes through. And, because, in a lot of ways, it made me question my own perceptions of reality, consciousness and life. So much so that, at a certain point, I looked up from the book, glanced around and wondered if the place and situation I was in were real or a dream (not kidding!).

If I had to pick out a favourite part (like I always do at the end of a book-rant), it would be this one, where Carl sums up how we’re all basically consciousnesses in a void:

“..if I were to lose an arm in an accident, I’d still be me. They wouldn’t say, he used to be Carl, then he lost an arm, now he’s John.

And, if, in another accident, I lost the other arm, the same would be true. Likewise with my legs, my sight, my hearing, my speech, my sense of touch. You could keep going, keep stripping me down, until I was only a consciousness, suspended in a void.

But, take away the consciousness, and suddenly I’m gone. Carl is no more. And take away the consciousness but leave the body, leave the full complement of arms and legs, and I’m still gone.”

PS: I found this interestingly similar review online – Consciousness in the void – Business Standard

How’s Life ?

Last day, while chatting with Merlin, she asked me how I was feeling. And  I told her, without a second thought, that I was feeling great! She asked me if there was a specific reason and I didn’t have any. I mean, I’m just happy. I’m not exactly doing much over here. In fact, all I do is catch up with the movies/music I missed, read, loaf around, talk to Ann, so on. If I were back at Kerala, I’d probably be telling you about how bored and fed up I’m with the same situation.

There’s something about this place that really connects to me…brings back the happiness that I don’t feel elsewhere! I feel more myself, happier …and the best part is I don’t feel the need to search for happiness. Back there, I used to feel like something is missing, that I need to search for that ‘something’ to make myself feel better. Over here, I can sense a kind of completeness from within. 🙂 Which is exactly why I love this place!

Every time I come here on vacation, I rediscover the zeal for life…then, I go back and lose it… only to come here and find it again. It’s incredible how places can have so much of influence on you, right? 🙂 I’m in love with RAK for the sheer joy it always gives me…for the way it awakens all my dreams and hopes! How’s life going with you? 🙂 


Dreams Come True…

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, everyone! Hope you had a great day!! Last Friday, in class, a guy I know came to me and asked me to help him. He said he wanted me to write a poem which he wanted to give to a girl he likes, on Valentine’s Day. He had an idea in mind and wanted me to develop it into a complete poem. To be frank, I was touched. He is a really easy-going guy…so much like a kid…naive, adorable, one of the sweetest guys in my class. Something so expressive as an idea for a poem was completely unexpected of him! Especially since the girl in question isn’t someone he is seriously into. I wrote the poem, anyway, based on the outline he gave me. He was delighted with it! I could see the joy in his face. He said he really liked it. After this incident, even I wished someone would write me a poem, or atleast a simple letter or something. I have never dated a guy who was into writing or spontaneous surprises. So, I guess I have always missed getting something of that sort. And this V-Day has proved to be nothing different. It’s been a boring day, until now, atleast.

Anyway, there’s something I have wanted to write about for the past few days. In school, one of my teachers used to tell me about this ‘technique’/way of making some dreams come true. It was a really simple, easy thing…and if it could assure my dream’s realization, then why not give it a try? So, I tried it. It’s something that has to be kind of woven into your routine. I continued doing it for almost 3-4 months…until it came true! Yes, my dream did come true. After that, I used this ‘technique’ 3 more times, to fulfill some seemingly impossible dreams. And guess what? They have all happened! 🙂 It might seem too good to be true. But, I’m serious. If it worked for me, it can work for you, too. So, I thought I’d reveal the secret here.

You will need a notebook and a pen. All you have to do is: Fix a particular time, preferably a time when you will be free, everyday. At this decided time, each day, write out your dream around 10 or 15 times. I usually go for 10. It is important to do this at the exact same time everyday. When you write, be as specific as possible. If there’s a deadline involved, mention it. Like, for instance, it could be something like this: ‘I want to successfully complete my novel within one month/before 1st March’. It can be anything, literally, anything you want to happen. OK, maybe not something too crazy or impossible…like turning your house upside down (in the literal sense, that is; but who would want that, anyway?).

Important ==> When you write, try to concentrate on it, see it in your mind and put your heart into it. Those 5 minutes of genuine effort, each day, can work miracles in your life. Sincerely believe that it will happen; be positive. If you write something and believe something else, there is no congruity between your actions and thoughts. So, you can’t blame me if this doesn’t work! 🙂

Since it has been effective for me (more than once!), I felt I should share it with others. When I want something to happen and it seems kinda improbable, or when there’s nothing I can do to make it happen, I try this. Do try it out, maybe as an experiment, just to test if it works for you. I truly hope it does. Hope your dreams come true! Whether they do happen or not, please let me know! I’d love to hear from you.

DISCLAIMER: The method was told to me by a teacher. I don’t know how he got to know about it. It could have been from a book, a movie, another person or any other medium. I do not claim this to be my idea or the teacher’s. Also, I cannot be held responsible if it doesn’t work/if something unfavourable happens.