The (Nearly) Lost Art of Love

I’m down with a cold. 🙂 It’s very rarely that I get a cold, or anything remotely near to it, for that matter. So, when I do get a cold, I make most of it! I enjoy it as much as I can…sleeping in the whole day, loving the physical discomfort and pain (Yeah, you read it right!). Yesterday, I was sleeping the whole day. Almost. After breakfast, I went straight to bed, got up for lunch, went back to bed, got up for tea, back to bed…I stayed there until around 11pm, when I got up to go to my friend’s room. I was awake till almost 4am…talking to her or just lying on the bed, wide awake, unable to sleep. It’s weird but I haven’t been able to sleep properly since New Year! Today’s class was so boring and helped in making me feel all the more groggy. I’m still so worn out and damn sleepy. Just can’t wait to hit my bed!

I am currently reading the book ‘Intimacy’ by Osho. And I came across this very meaningful part where he talks about the transient nature of everything in life.

“You love someone and you promise, ‘I will love you my whole life.’ And you know perfectly well that you cannot be even certain of tomorrow – you are giving a false promise. All that you can say is, ‘I am in love with you this moment, and I give my totality to you. About the next moment, I know nothing. How can I promise? You have to forgive me.’ ”

I found it to be so true. And yet, people choose to continue giving false promises, ignoring the fact that they can never be certain about the very next moment, let alone the possibility of ‘forever’. Honestly speaking, I was also among those who promised love and togetherness forever, rather than focussing on the present. But during the past few months, my perceptions have undergone a drastic change. For good, I believe.

One day, while writing the day’s diary entry, it struck me that the way we love a person is so wrong. Love, for us, is basically a bunch of conditions than a powerful and beautiful emotion. When we love a person, it entails so many conditions…conditions that require you to be faithful, stay together forever, get married, this, that. We can’t seem to let go of our apprehensions and just love.

Love is the most basic and powerful of all emotions. One of the simplest feelings ever. Yet, we choose to complicate it with our many rules and conditions. When a person says that he/she loves you, why don’t we just take it to mean exactly that…just that he/she loves us? Why do we interpret it to mean a hell lot more? Same goes for when we say it to someone. We should be able to fully mean what we said – that we love the person truly and completely, at this moment, here, now. Why complicate this simple emotion with worries of possibilities, time, qualities and the like?

Surprisingly, love is a highly essential element for existence, but complicated to such an extent that we have forgotten how to love…simply love. We have come to associate so many conditions with love, baring it of its beauty. For instance, fidelity. You can’t say love involves fidelity – one of the most important conditions when you love. Being faithful to a person is a way of forcing yourself to stay in the situation even when you might want to break free. Being faithful physically and/or emotionally does not translate into love. Love would never demand anything from you. Love just is. All the other attributes connected to love (fidelity, togetherness, adjusting, etc.) have been created by men…men who wanted to ensure security and certainty in a phenomenon as wild and uncertain as love. And what have we got? Endless instances of unhappy relationships and marriages. All because of these enforced guidelines and concepts of ‘forever’.

Love is an energy flowing through each one of us, connecting us. Love exists here and now. You cannot imprison it in a place called forever. Let it free, let it happen. Allow yourself to love naturally, simply…without preconceived notions and conditions. Because it is not love, when you are bound by such rules. Love is a lost art we need to learn, all over again.

Next time you say that you love someone, take a moment, and make sure you mean it, in real. Don’t attach any cute, sweet phrases. Simply love. Make sure that you love the person without any conditions or false promises of forever. Let’s not limit the boundaries of this wonderful emotion. For, love is far beyond forever.