Figuring Out

Everyday, I open up the ‘Add New Post’ page, thinking the sight of it might inspire me or push me to write out something. But it has been nearly two weeks now. Ann told me that I must blog something today. And then, I found this Freshly Pressed post today, in which the blogger experiences a similar lack of  inspiration to write (due to different reasons, though). In my case, I just don’t find that spark, that inner need to write, to let out my thoughts. I do have stuff to say, but I just can’t seem to find the will to do it.

I’m trying to figure out what I should do next, in terms of a course/further studies. I want to let myself take time and come up with it, but meanwhile, it kind of depresses me to think that I’m in the middle of nowhere, right now…with no idea of where to turn to, what to do next. I’m sure it’s normal, but I’m still trying to come to terms with it. So, I suppose all that inner turmoil is the actual culprit behind my lack of motivation.

Someone once told me that we don’t really need to be taught anything; all that we need to know or learn is within us. It might be true, because sometimes when a person tells me something, I get this feeling that I had already known it, and just needed someone to remind me of it.

I had been unable to understand why I was so moody and disturbed. And then, while reading ‘Like the Flowing River’ by Paulo Coelho, I came across this situation (a comparison to life) in it, and it struck me: “This is my problem! I knew it all along but I needed to be reminded, be told about it (in this case, read it).” So, this was what enlightened me –

“The Persian poet Rumi once said that life is like being sent by a king to another country in order to carry out a particular task. The person sent may do a hundred other things in that other country, but if he or she fails to fulfill the particular task he or she was charged with, it is as if nothing had been done.”

The age-old problem of finding one’s purpose in life. I realized that I’m plagued disturbed. Because I couldn’t figure out what exactly I was supposed to do. That constant feeling of ‘something missing’ or

Found this online. LOVED it! 🙂 Made me smile!

‘something not right’ – that’s what is disturbing me. And I also realize that it is upto me to put it right. And that it can’t be forced. So, while that goes on, I’m trying to enjoy this phase. Trying to get over the sense of loneliness and purpose-less-ness.

I’m sure all of you must have gone through this. So, tell me, how did you get over it or sort it out? 

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Let’s Catch Up!

So…I think I’m back, and I know I’m repeating a line that has been part of atleast 4-5 previous posts. Around 7 weeks after my previous post, here I am, finally typing something onto a page that I’ve opened up a hundred times in the past few days. Well, a lot has changed. Obviously. How can things remain the same for 7 whole weeks, anyway?

Well, in case you’d like to know, I quit my job at Kochi (Kerala), bid farewell to some awesome friends (and some beautiful, memorable places) and have come back to RAK. Home. It’s just been around 7 months since I left this place. It used to feel like ages when I was in Kerala, but now, once I got back, it feels like I hadn’t gone at all.

I suppose RAK is the place where I spend that interval period between two phases in my life. Because, now, I’m here to take my time and figure out what I want to do next. I haven’t yet begun the ‘figuring out’. I don’t want to force myself to dwell on it and find an answer. Let it come by itself, I know it will.

So, while I’m in the process or relaxing, lazing around and trying to do some serious thinking, I will also have a lot of chattering to do… Do keep a watch on this space! 🙂 I’ve missed my readers – regulars and the random visitors alike – as much as I have missed the experience of blogging.

And while you’re here, why don’t you tell me what you have been upto? 🙂