Being A Victim of Carnal Imprisonment

[Written yesterday]

The day was good. I took the first step towards a new plan, work is going great, I’m considerably happy and, my blogging is getting back on track. I admit I’m getting busier at work, which has its positives and negatives. I have lots to be occupied with, enough and more to do…but that also means I get very less time to relax, I can get easily stressed out. Which is why I’m thinking of new plans to add some life to my day.

The bit for today comes from the stress I’ve been feeling at work. Post-lunch hour, I feel very lazy and find it difficult to feel as enthusiastic as I do during the earlier hours. Anyway, past two or three days were exceptionally tiring. More than just tiring, I get this dull headache and want to go home so badly. Yesterday, it was worse. During the past three days, I have been feeling suffocated, kind of stifled (finally, found the right word).

So, a couple of days ago, I was experiencing this suffocated/stifled sensation and I stepped out onto the mini-balcony area for a while. I felt so much better, feeling the wind on my skin, being surrounded by so much space…and all of a sudden, I felt restricted by my body. Because, at that moment, I wanted to go out, run, fly…and I felt like my body was holding me back, chaining me! Then came a thought that surprised me…the voice in my head talking to myself – “I want to break free, get out of my body.” It was a very new thought – amusing and also shocking, in some ways. That day, I distinctly felt like someone who was imprisoned in her own body, like I literally wanted to get out of my body and give some life to my soul.

The concept of ‘soul’ has always been kinda…beyond understanding, reasoning and explanation. Yet, sometimes, you have experiences that sort of point at its presence. Like the one I had a couple of days ago. Honestly, it’s the first time I’m going through a thought/experience of that sort. Which is why it ended up being the bit! 

Ever felt like you want to get out of your body? Crazy question, I know. 

Cruel Twists

I had wanted to blog today morning, but got busy with work. In fact, I got this thought while brushing my teeth, and since then, I’ve been thinking of writing it out. While walking to work, I thought about it, mentally jotting down what all I wanted to write about. Surprisingly, I got another touching thought after I reached office. I did try to write it out, but got busy with work. And that’s again something to talk about! 🙂

So, before I get into the actual thought that triggered this urge to write, let me tell you about a news item I read today morning. If you have noticed, we read a lot of stuff each day; a lot of articles, information and random facts cross our mind. But there are some that stay, that touch your mind enough to make you think! Today morning, while going through some  news updates, I read an article. It wasn’t the first article I read, but it was the first (and the only one, I think) that moved me. Obviously, why else would I be blogging about it?

So, I started my day at work, feeling emotionally moved by this news item. In a country where deaths, accidents, injuries and mishaps play prominent roles in newspapers, this might not be unusually shocking or anything. But when I read it, I kind of imagined myself in her situation, then in her parents’ situation. She was (it feels weird saying ‘was’) my age…and she had got placed in the same company as me (remember the campus interview, the job I decided to let go?). Meaning, I might have met her if life had taken a different road.

Life twists and turns…

She was supposed to be take part in a TV show later this month. It’s easy to say life had other plans for her. But very difficult to come to terms with those plans. Sometimes, life’s twists can be so cruel. This was the one thought that kept ringing in my head, when I started work today morning. Kind of like a reminder that the next moment can be happy, shockingly disastrous or just normal…that all I can do right now is MAKE MOST OF NOW! 🙂