Of Palms, Feet & Spaces

Yesterday, I went out with my housemate, her brother and my sister (Janet). It was tiring, but enlightening in some ways. We went to this book fair, spent time checking out books… It’s always bliss to have books all around me! We had lunch, roamed around a bit, blah blah. It was past 5pm or so when we got back home. Completely drained and dead tired.

The enlightenment was more like an insight into myself. While travelling in the bus, on the way to some part of the city, I realized that I have a kind of claustrophobia. It’s not that I’m always afraid of all closed/cramped/tight places. For instance, I’m not at all uncomfortable while using an elevator. But then, sometimes, when I see walls all around me or can’t see beyond to an open space, I feel this rush of anxiety, a weird sense of suffocation. I was surprised when it struck me; I had never noticed it until now.

How I came to realize this fact about myself – While the bus was passing by a building, the wall was visible right outside the window (to my right). I could just reach out and feel its rough surface. And when I looked to my left, there were people crowding around, and I couldn’t see beyond the wall of human bodies. I felt like I’d begin to suffocate…a clutch of panic in my mind. That was when I understood that I’m claustrophobic, to some extent.

Another enlightenment I had was in the book fair, when I chanced upon a certain book. During the past couple of days, I’ve been talking, reading and thinking a lot about certain unconventional fields of study – astrology, palmistry. What drew me to them is the fact that they combine science (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE) and ethereal, metaphysical elements (which I find intriguing).

At the book fair, yesterday, I saw this book – The Complete Illustrated Guide to Palmistry. I flipped through it, stopping for longer on some pages; the images, texts and concepts all jumping out at my inquisitive mind. Apart from the fact that it was detailed, illustrated and written in an interesting way, I loved the book because of the sheer curiosity it awakened in me. Anyone who saw me could have seen the unmasked excitement on my face!

I’m sure my face must have looked even more animated when I found another book below the palmistry one – The Complete Illustrated Guide to Reflexology. I have always liked the concept of reflexology but didn’t know anything much about it. Beyond the basics, that is. So, seeing the book, I went through it, trying to get a deeper idea of a topic I like. And, I was surprised to find myself going on turning pages, falling in love with the book. I loved the illustrations, explaining how to massage, where and how to apply pressure at the right points for the right reasons.

When I moved towards my sister and away from the book, I felt this longing, pulling me back… I had fallen in love with the book. I had discovered interest and zeal for something so unexpected. And I knew I wanted to learn, know more about it.. So, I’ve been trying to get more information on the subject, checking out possible courses, blah blah. And I couldn’t help sharing it with y’all. 🙂

As far as work is concerned, the bad phase is slowly starting to brighten up. I just completed my first major event, quite successfully. More on that later! I’m still demotivated, more or less, but I’m sure that will pass. Janet is here for a couple of weeks, so it feels really good. I’ve become aware of the presence of an awesome friend. I’ve been having a lot of chocolate. 🙂 Seems like good times are just around the corner.

Wish I Had Nothing To Do :P

I think I’ve caught a cold. Even though I don’t mind it much, I hope it goes off very soon.

Yesterday was kinda weird. I was confused, sad, disturbed but happy in some ways. Last night, while chatting with Ann, I was feeling so low and wasn’t saying anything much. And then, she wrote out this quote: “Stand tall, smile bright, and let them wonder what secret’s making you laugh!” Surprisingly, it’s from Angels & Demons (one of my top favourite books) and I didn’t know it. She made my day and I tried to go to sleep with a lighter heart. And well, today was a better day. Although I did get bored at work!

Janet is coming over tomorrow. 🙂 I’m really excited. Initially, I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so happy. But then, today I understood. During the past one week or so, I’ve been amidst a lot of strangers. I did become good friends with some but, at the end of the day, you can’t deny the fact that they are strangers (who are 1 week old, for me). And after being with strangers for so long, tomorrow I’m going to see someone I know, someone I’m very much familiar with. The mere thought is so exciting! 🙂 So, I guess I have a great weekend coming up.

Today, while going through a magazine, I read this line – ‘Do nothing planned this weekend… Read, listen to music, stay quiet, watch

Miss this so badly… 😦

the rain…‘ It was such a tempting idea…sounds exactly like the kind of thing I want to do! It’s been a while since I got time to do something like that – do nothing. Maybe it’s just because the whole situation is new to me, and I need to get used to it, find time for other stuff. As much as I enjoy work, I do miss lazing around and being able to do nothing. Hah! Knowing me, before long, I’ll be talking about how I’m bored of having nothing to do! 😀

Diary-Writing=Blogging????

Yesternight, my younger sister – Janet – came home after her first year exams! 🙂 So, after many months, all of us are together again! 🙂 It feels great, obviously. But today has been kind of a bad day. Don’t know why but I’ve been feeling a little low. Actually, I hate Fridays; I’ve always hated them for some reason or the other. And I’ve rarely had happy Fridays (except maybe when I was back in college).

Even right now, sitting here, thinking of what to write for today, I’m blank. There’s a certain kind of monotony settling in right now, a sort of pattern in the way I spend my days. And I HATE that! I absolutely hate monotony in life and can get easily demotivated by it. Which is probably why I’m feeling low right now. Because I seriously can’t put my finger on any other possible reason!

You know what? Janet never really reads my blog. But recently, when I asked her, she told me that she read the last few posts, through the updates in Facebook. I was extremely happy when I heard that. So, when she came, I asked her what she thought about it. She was like “It’s more like diary writing, I thought blogging was supposed to be like talking about a specific topic.” She joked that it would have been better if I just started diary writing over on my blog. OK, I admit I was a little disappointed by the nonchalance and lack of appreciation in her comment. But apart from that, I was struck by what she said.

So many people think blogging is about voicing your opinions on serious issues (like politics, current affairs, blah blah). Yes, it is about all that. And so much more. Much much more. Blogging is a platform for you to write about absolutely anything you want. It could be about your thoughts, your take on some issue, improving your writing, talking about experiences, reaching out to similar writers, displaying your talent (photography, writing, art), sharing new information (recipes!!!), just random banter…anything under the Sun.

A blog isn’t exactly a place where people discuss and/or argue about the latest political developments or social issues, although it is certainly a part of blogging. You could just be blogging about your day, what you did or what you went through, or even something as simple as what you ate for lunch. And it would still be called blogging!

(I hope) This is how my readers look like while reading my nonsense 😛

I know my blog is of a personal nature and might seem more like journal entries. But this isn’t how I write in my diary. I CANNOT blog about everything that happens in my life, I can write that in my diary. I do not write elaborately about my crazy thoughts in my diary, I save those for my blog. I do not find like-minded people through my diary, I do it over here. I do not let anyone read my diary (Hell NO!); on the other hand,I want people to read my blog (which clearly points out this is NOT diary-writing for me!). Reading my diary would be utterly boring for others,  while my blog is far more interesting (atleast, that’s what  I hope!). I do not want ‘likes’ and comments on my diary, but I want them here. And, I have to admit, I write a lot more of bullshit in my diary! 😀

I could come up with so many more differences between the two. But, I guess this will do, for now (can’t wait to get my sis to read this!). Let me also add this one bit – I LOVE diary writing! Just as much as I love blogging (though I’m a lot more regular with the latter!). Damn, where did I begin and where have I ended up? Like every other time!! Nothing new, I suppose. Anyway, I hope I’ve made the idea of blogging a tiny bit clearer to all those who thought it was diary-writing! 🙂

Happy weekend to y’all! 🙂