Rain, Rain, Come Again :)

It’s night-time. Dark, silent (almost) and a tiny bit eerie. I don’t remember the last time I stayed up to blog. Since afternoon, there have been so many thoughts in my mind that I can’t help but sit down and let them out. Considering how lazy I can be, it surprises me that I’m staying up to write about some random thoughts I had earlier during the day. Maybe the fact that I could not go to sleep without doing this shows how much of an impact these thoughts have had on me.

I had been feeling quite low for the past couple of days.

Today afternoon, while walking back home with a friend, it started drizzling. It wasn’t unusual (it has been raining on and off during the past few weeks) or sudden (it has been cloudy for a couple of days). But it changed something within me. It felt good. I felt an urge to stay out in the rain for a while longer. It evoked a kind of happiness in me that I can’t seem to explain. It was not an overwhelming emotion…just plain happiness. A good feeling within, just a sense of being content and happy with wherever I was at that particular point in life. I went up to the terrace and sat there for a while. The rain had stopped by then but I knew it wouldn’t be long before it returned. At that moment, sitting there, watching the sky and lost in thoughts, I felt a deep sense of contentment with life. Almost like I was living solely in that moment. Even though I believe in the concept of living one’s life fully and in the moment, I have to admit that I hardly ever come across moments like this. And when I do, they touch me far deeper than ever; they leave me filled with thoughts that demand to be let out! (Right now, I feel flooded by so many thoughts, I don’t know which ones to let out!)

Since it was the rain that led to this “outpour” of thoughts, I suppose I’ll let rain take the limelight here. Today, while it was raining, I had so many thoughts going through my mind…and when I paid attention to these passing thoughts, I realized that they were mostly vivid memories, all related to rain. Some of them were almost long-forgotten. I thought I’d list out a few, to pore over on some other rainy day.

Rain reminds me of:

1) How I used to long for rainy days during childhood. I loved floating paper boats in the puddles, getting drenched in the rain (although that rarely happened) or just listening to the rain falling outside. Since rain wasn’t very common, I used to love whenever it rained, even if it meant mess and mud and dampness.

2) Schooldays! I loved going to school on rainy days. Inspite of the fact that I hated getting my feet wet, I enjoyed rainy school days. I used to love the small puddles on the school ground. Not the messy corridors, though. We used to make excuses or happily carry out errands for the teachers, just to get out of class and go out in the rain.

3) Quite contrary to school time, I hated rain during college. Perhaps because there was an excess of it! I dreaded going to class on rainy days. I hated the muddy paths, the drenched uniforms, the cold, everything! One distinct memory is of an instance when one moment, we  (classmates) were all walking slowly, ‘navigating’ around muddy puddles and talking, and the next moment, it started raining cats and dogs, and we ran to find shelter, splashing mud all around (need I add we ended up looking very much pitiable).

4) Songs. Experiences – Every time it rains, the first song to come to mind is Unnai Kandane (Parijatham). It has become almost synonymous to rain. Apart from all the memories of travelling on rainy days or of curling up in the bed, listening to the rain outside, another rainy experience I’ll always remember is the one I had while I was at Kochi – going up to the terrace with a PGmate/friend and enjoying the rain.  Evidently, it was good enough to make me blog about it. The memory and the post, in particular, have immense significance for me!

5) And now, rain will always remind me of today and the happiness it brought forth in me. Because it happened at a point when I badly needed it. Or perhaps, because it made me see things I had been overlooking, like the need to be happy by oneself.

So, what does rain remind you of? 

 

 

Why I Want Last Night Back

[I don’t know if the title makes sense, but that is exactly what this post is about!]

Remember New Year’s Eve? If ever I got the chance to relive a day in my life, I used to think I’d choose that day. Well, not anymore! Yesterday, I had one of the most unforgettable days of my life…a day that I’ll hold special and memorable (and a lot more, actually) forever! Sometimes, you meet people who touch you in such irrevocable ways, like they become etched into your mind! People with whom you can connect at an extraordinary level, feel absolutely comfortable and happy, open up without thinking of rights or wrongs. Last night, I got close to a couple of people who fit into this category. It was out of this world. Nothing else could ever describe it better.

I went out for a movie with my colleagues and then spent the night at the place where a couple of them stay. Since I’m so into new experiences and making most of opportunities, I had decided I didn’t want to sleep at all (wanted to make most of the night). I spent the entire night talking to the others, specifically two awesome guys! It’s after a long time that I got to have such a detailed conversation. We spoke about a lot of stuff…and at the end of it, I was speechless! I didn’t want the day to end, I wished time would stop or something. 🙂 But you know it didn’t. Good things don’t last forever.

It’s very rarely that I get to meet guys (or anyone, for that matter) with whom I can have proper, mature talks, without bothering to think about what I’m saying. So, I truly enjoyed last night. I wish I could tell you more, because I’d love to commit to memory each word we spoke. I was super-amazed by the level of connection and similarities I shared with them. Apart from that, why I loved this night so much is because it moved me, touched me in ways I cannot explain. I have never thought up so much within one night! 🙂 And I’d choose to relive last night, if I were given the chance! Without a second thought!

But, like every great day, this one came to an end…and I was struck by a realization today morning (shattering the dreamy happiness that yesternight had created). You meet people who share a great chemistry with you, people who are meant to be part of your life. But, it’s almost like you know you won’t have a chance to experience what it’s like (having them with you). Does that make sense? OK, let’s put it this way. You meet people who are perfect to be part of your life…but, well, there’s a but! I know I’m not being very lucid, but that’s the easiest way to explain what I have in mind. There’s a but involved! Realizing this has kind of dampened my spirits today morning.

Anyhow, maybe time could work wonders. 🙂 I never seem to lose hope, right? After all, what do we have in life other than hope for a better tomorrow?

Where I Disappeared To… ;)

It has been a whirlwind week. Literally. I just got back to college after a week full of fun, activities and travelling. During the past 7 days, I went through parts of 4 different districts of the state, met a handful of amazing people and had some awesome time! And thought a great lot of stuff. Along with the crazy fun, there were so many instances when I was struck by profound thoughts. Every time I got a thought like that, I jotted it down so that I would remember it all to be posted here later, when I get back. 🙂

 

Well…to start from the beginning. On 22nd, all of my classmates from the hostel went out on a day out. It was more like trekking and I get easily tired by that. But we had a great time. We took a hell lot of photos (which isn’t really my thing, to be honest), chattered a lot, laughed so much and, basically, had a lot of fun! I’ll try putting up some pics in another post, coming up soon. Anyway, I loved the time we had. We checked out the stuff in the shops. I found this shop selling second-hand books and there were a handful of books that I have been longing to read. I bought ‘The Romanov Prophecy’ by Steve Berry. That was enough to make the rest of my day super-awesome! 🙂 I should mention that the lunch wasn’t satisfying enough but the fun parts outshine the disappointment. So, never mind!

 

Thekkady Boating Ticket Counter and Tourist In...

One spot we went to, if my memory is right!

 

The day passed so fast, hours passing by in a blur of laughter, photos and the happiness of being with your friends. 🙂 We got to meet this cute guy who came to talk to us and even clicked some photos for us! I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again, but I really liked him. He was…ummm…fun in a mischievous way! 😉 We did meet a couple of other guys, too. Anyway, all of us were exhausted but super-happy by the time we got back to hostel. Next day, all of us went home. It kinda felt like we were leaving forever, but I was glad to know I’d be coming back! 🙂 I never thought I would actually feel that!!

At home, I spent time with Janet (that’s my sister). We spoke a lot, caught up with each other’s lives, laughed a lot, talked about childhood memories and fought a tiny little bit. 🙂 As usual. We also went out, one evening. Just to the town, roamed around a bit, chattering all the while. 🙂 There were some issues she was caught up in. So, that kinda dampened our moods, in between. I had a fight with dad and some other issues, too. Both of us were really depressed when we left home but since I was going to my friend’s place, I pushed everything out of my head. I could deal with it later, anyway…

At my friend’s place (Betsy is her name), we just spent some time, lazing around, watching some movies, sleeping, talking and loafing around. On 28th, I went to meet Kiran at her hometown. 🙂 It felt so good to see her after so long (more than a year). I was introduced to her friends from college. I found them to be a pack of really sweet, friendly, crazy and super-awesome girls who were absolute fun to be with. There were 6 of them. Yes, I did feel kinda weird, initially, since I was meeting them for the first time. But I slowly got over it. That night, we wanted to do something fun or mischievous. But most of them were sleepy and wanted some proper sleep. So, there were just 3 of us (plus me and Betsy) – Pranavi, Meghna and Disha – sitting on the bed, talking. We shared some ghost stories (with the lights off)! It was fun because all three were kinda scared yet wanted to listen to all the horror stuff. Pranavi was so scared and used to scream at the slightest of noises and stuff. She got super-scared and yelled when Meghna touched her by mistake! We spent the whole night talking! We were babbling till almost 4:45am!

After the horror story session, we spoke about random stuff like science, religion, God, so on. Then, we had a game of Truth (& Dare, but since we were not in a situation to do Dares, we stuck to playing just Truth!). It was SUPER-AWESOME! I loved it! We asked each other a lot of wayward questions, some insane, some perverted, some just stupid! We laughed so much at the bullshit we were saying, shared so many experiences and made most of those few hours we had with us! I know I might not be personally close to any of them, but I had enough fun that night to form a sort of bond with them. 🙂 Next day, we had to get up at 7 or so. We got ready and went for the wedding.

It was the first time I was attending a Hindu marriage. I was fascinated by their rituals and customs. Since the minute it began, I was paying close attention to what was happening and was so lost in it that I didn’t see anyone/anything else. I really loved it! Apart from the fact that it was short, sweet and simple, there was a lot of meaning in their rituals. And I should admit, I would love to have a Hindu marriage! 🙂 Seriously! After the marriage, we had lunch, spoke to Kiran for a while and then, had to leave. Betsy and I bid our farewells and went on our way home, after two great days with some really wonderful people! 🙂 I got back to hostel the next day (ie, yesterday). So, that’s what I’ve been upto during the past one week. It has been hectic, I admit. But I would do it all over again, any day! Without a doubt, or a moment’s hesitation! 🙂 I loved the experience…and all that came with it – the people, the good times, thoughts, everything. Yes, I know I haven’t mentioned the thoughts…more of that coming up. And I’ll try getting some pics for the upcoming posts! 🙂

One for now... 🙂 that's us, hostelers from my class, at Thekkady

Musings on Deep, Dark Nights

Did you notice the pun? I just did…and I’m impressed with myself (clearly, it isn’t always that I come up with clever stuff like that!). And I have this thing for titles…I love spending time to think up really good, catchy titles…and I usually tend to read books which have catchy titles. Anyway, I digress… (nothing new, of course!)

If I were asked what I really love writing about, one answer you would definitely get is ‘night’. Apart from the more natural topics like myself, my life and experiences, night is a ‘theme’ I love to write about. Even though I love bright, sunny days, I have a great fascination for the dark nights, the starry sky and everything about this time of the day. One interesting definition I found in the dictionary is ‘the time of darkness between sunset and sunrise’. I loved it… I loved the thought of night being a span of time connecting the sunset and the sunrise.

I have realized that I’m always at my creative best at night. There is a more easy flow of words when I write at night, as if the voice in my head is most active then. Most of my ‘best stuff’ were written at night. Back at home, there were times when I stayed up late into the night, writing till I felt satisfied, till that inner voice fell quiet. I miss all those times. Whenever I sit up at night, I can’t help but feel that I’m the only one up while the rest of the world sleeps (that doesn’t apply to the other end of the world where the sun must be just coming up). There is a kind of calm silence enveloping me, no noise except those of the reigning night. Sometimes, I feel I can actually ‘hear’ my inner voice (let’s name it Norah, because that’s a name I LOVE!!) narrating my thoughts to me, imploring me to put them down on paper. The silence around me makes me feel I’m all alone, happily so, lost in my world of thoughts while everyone else around is deep in slumber. It’s just me, awake and alone…me and my thoughts. The night-time and its attributes (the tranquility, silence, darkness) have a way of connecting to me, to my soul and yes, to Norah. Maybe that’s why words just pour out from my mind (through the pen) and onto the paper, almost without any effort, when I sit down to write at night.

I love the night sky. The blanket of darkness spread over the world, studded with twinkling dots of stars, never fails to mesmerize me and leave me in awe. The vast expanse of the sky, its infiniteness and the depth of its pervading darkness… I can’t stop admiring it, whenever I let myself be enraptured by the stupendous night sky. Last day, I witnessed the lunar eclipse. I spent a long time looking at the shining bit of the moon, fascinated by the stars thrown all across the sky… It has been a long time since I got the opportunity to indulge in the night sky-watching practice. So, it felt really good as I sat at the window, looking out at the sky, as if it held the answers to all the questions in the universe (which, maybe, it does)…as if I had never seen anything more interesting than it. The familiarity of this experience was somehow immensely comforting.

What I loved most was the thought that all my dear ones would see this very sight, if they looked up. However distant or far apart we maybe, it felt soothing, knowing that we were all connected, living under this same blanket of sky. I find nights to be one of the most miraculous and captivating phenomena of all. There’s a certain joy that creeps into my mind, as the last rays of sunlight touch the face of earth…The joy of experiencing yet another wonderful night, harbouring hopes for yet another beautiful day ahead.