Physics, English & Roots

As time moves on, we tend to forget the causes and reasons which made us what we are today – experiences that taught us valuable lessons, people who influenced us in significant or trivial ways. Of course, we may not completely forget them. But as we move from one phase to another, we leave behind a considerable lot. And we don’t always look back to think of what made us what we are now. They become fond but distant memories…

A couple of days ago, I met a handful of people who played a remarkable role in having molded me into the person I am. Even without being personally close to me, they have had a very deep impact on my thoughts, likes, dislikes and perceptions.

Kiran is here in RAK. We met up on Saturday. I had a great time with her…talking nonsense, joking around and catching up with each other. She is one person with whom I can (comfortably) alternate between being stupid and sensible…and utterly stupid, again. And know I will never be judged. That day, we made plans to go to school the next morning.

πŸ™‚

As decided, we reached school sometime in the afternoon. I had gone there last month with Saba and some other friends. But this was a different experience. I did have to face some probing (and irritating) Β questions about what I’m going to do next. Nothing new there, of course. Atleast it wasn’t as bad as I had expected.

Anyway, Kiran and I met only a select few teachers – those we really like and share a good relationship with (ruling out a couple of exceptions whom we had to meet). All the teachers we met were genuinely happy to see us and we spent some ‘quality’ time with them. While each teacher asked Kiran about her course, college and stuff, I was lost in some thoughts.

It’s been 3 years since we passed out of school. We have changed to a certain extent, be it physically or otherwise. But the teachers we met looked the same, and spoke to us with the same intimacy as before. It was almost as if time hadn’t passed, as far as our bond with these teachers was concerned. Looking at them, seeing their love and happiness, I realized how I grew into the person I am.

I love Science, Physics in particular. I wouldn’t say I know a lot about it, but I love it like hell, and try to learn more about the subject. I met the teacher who is the reason for this love (I hated Physics until 9th grade). She taught us Physics in 9th and 11th grades. She is an amazing teacher, takes a lot of effort to make sure the students have understood the portion taught… The way she explains the concepts, laws, theories and stuff led me to see that Physics could explain a lot of things in life, things that I had overlooked as normal or having/needing no explanation. And then, there was another teacher who taught us Physics in 10th and during the first few months of 11th grade. I admit his classes could get super-boring. But I adored him, absolutely ADORED him! And that just led me to love the subject with added fervour. I met him also, while at school. He is still the same…almost made me wish I could sit in his class, once more. Seeing both of them made me realize how and why I began loving what I love… It was something like going back to Β my roots.

I also met the English teacher who taught us in 10th and 12th (and took some

Note the pun! πŸ˜› This was a poster put up in one of the classes; found it while checking for some school photos.

random classes in 11th, I think). I wouldn’t say she is my favourite English teacher, but yes, she is someone I really like. She isn’t the one who made me fall in love with language (English, specifically), writing, poetry, imagery and words. But I did enjoy her classes a lot; they were fun (= some yawning, crazy jokes, lots of mimicking)! πŸ˜› And she did teach me English…which means atleast a part of what I know right now is due to her efforts. But what highlights her in my memory is something else. She taught us Ode To The West WindΒ in 10th grade. Since then, it has been a favourite poem of mine. Even after so many more having been added to the list.

Seeing those teachers was like going back in time (especially since they didn’t look very different). So…what I’m trying to say is…sometimes, we forget how we began liking something, who/what influenced a certain habit of ours or basically, how we grew to be what we are right now. Going back in time helps reconnect with those reasons, those roots. And why that is necessary? No, I guess it isn’t necessary. But there could be times when you lose touch with who you are, how you got so far… The roots will keep you alive, and help you grow into who you want to be. πŸ™‚

 

Moving On Can Be Super-Scary!

I just have two more weeks left! I don’t believe this. I can’t believe almost two months have gone by so fast! I’m already going crazy, thinking of the hell lot of stuff I’ll have to do once I get back. And apart from the tension, one emotion that’s been disturbing me is the sorrow of leaving. Once I start working, I have no idea when I’ll be able to come here on a vacation like this. For now, I’m just pushing aside that thought. For later.

It might sound stupid to some and crazy to some others. Even I’m amazed at what I’m about to embark on. I have absolutely no idea about what to do or how to go about with things, once I get back to India. I’m planning to move to a city that’s completely new and strange to me. I don’t even have close friends there! And I have no plan, not even a rough idea of how I intend to make this happen. Am I scared? Hell, yes, I am. Am I tensed? Yes, very much, even though I’m keeping a large part of it for later.

I seriously don’t know how I am going to find a place to stay, live by myself, manage everything by myself in a completely new city… I did NOT tell my parents about how scared I’m. I don’t think I ever will. They are already pretty freaked out and tensed. They tried tempting me with the idea of working over here. But I stayed firm on my decision. Anyway, I don’t want them to know I’m super-clueless, too. All that worry could be injurious to their health. πŸ™‚

I did talk about this with some friends. Some of them said they believed I could do it, that I’d be able to pull through these situations. But a couple of my closest friends (one of them being Saba) were really concerned and asked me to think well before deciding. Saba, in particular, was super-worried. She tried her best to talk me into staying here. And, to be frank, she made me think about a lot of aspects that hadn’t occurred to me. Anyhow, eventually, she supported me in my decision. Not because I convinced her or anything (I doubt I’ll ever be able to do that!). But because she knows me.

For one thing, I’m firm (read: stubborn) when it comes to myΒ decisions. Another thing, as she rightly pointed out, is that if I fall for my parents’ suggestion and stay back, I’ll never be able to feel fully happy. I will always wonder how things would have turned out had I gone forward with my plan. And it will keep gnawing at my happiness. So, she told me that it’s better that I go ahead with my decision. Otherwise I’ll never be happy. πŸ™‚ I love her for saying that!

I’m aware of the risk I’m taking. I know things can go wrong. Very wrong. But, let’s just be positive. And, even if something goes wrong, I know I’ll deal with it somehow. That’s what life is about, after all. That’s how you learn to live! Exactly why I want to take this risk. I want to get out of the comfort zone that I’ve been in all these years, know what it is like to live by myself, deal with problems on my own…experience life. πŸ™‚

Lot of hopes, dreams…and yes, a tiny bit of worries. Let’s wait and see how things turn out to be! πŸ™‚

Painting Happiness

It’s amazing how small things can help us realize great lessons. Lessons that can sometimes turn your day around! πŸ™‚ Read on, and you will understand what I’m talking about.

Well, yesterday morning, I met up with Saba. We spent almost over 5 hours or so at her place. All we did was talk, eat and watch TV for a (very very) short while. Anyway, it did a hell lot of good to me! I felt so much better, just being with her. I admit there were times when I kinda fell back into my distracted, moody phase but never for long. We spoke about a lot of random stuff – movies, songs, friends, her life, my stuff, Osama bin Laden (yeah, Β you read it right!), so on. πŸ˜€ Just wish I could have stayed longer. But she had work and we had no other option. I was in a perceptibly good mood once I got back home.

When Ann came back from school, she showed me a painting she had done. She

From the Windows Of Jupiter – Gerardo Gomez (click to know more)

isn’t really into painting, doesn’t do it so well or anything but likes to dabble at everything. And, so, she tries to paint out her thoughts in her own weird ways. Only she can make sense of her paintings. I love trying to interpret her paintings with crazy thoughts. [Note: The painting on the right looked like a really happy one probably because of the vibrant colours, which is why I chose it.]

Anyway, this particular painting had a yellow dome-like structure in the middle with some black lines outlining it. Thanks to her help, I understood that it was supposed to be a gate. Underneath the gate, there were thick streaks of yellow, blue and black (horizontally). Ok, like all of you, I was clueless when she showed it to me. And I asked her what it means (she loves explaining her paintings!).

Firstly, it depicts a kind of fantasy world. According to her, the layers/streaks of colours show the different layers separating the ‘world’ from the ‘gate to happiness’. Black stands for sadness & negative emotions while blue is a more positive layer and yellow, of course, denotes happiness. I LOVED the whole idea (I always love her ideas, they are so novel and different).

But, when I looked closely at the painting, I noticed another possible interpretation. It could have been a painting of how our mind is… The layers represent different emotions, starting from the depressive, negative thoughts (black), the slightly positive ones (blue) and then the happy ones (yellow)…finally leading to the gate of happiness, which lies deep within all of our minds. Only when we navigate through these different, deep layers and go deep into our minds will we find happiness. Happiness is found within, after all.

This is what I meant by the very first sentence…how small things can teach us great lessons. How the seemingly silly painting by my little sister could make me see something so profound and immense! I know I’m sad, and now, I’m trying to overcome it…by going deeper into myself…because that’s the only way out. πŸ™‚ I already knew it, but I guess I had to be reminded. I won’t find joy (that lasts) anywhere else, for it lies within.

So, what’s the one great lesson that you have learnt from a quite small/trivial incident?Β 

 

This is another picture Ann drew. I LOVE it. Maybe because it’s from a different angle and perspective. πŸ™‚

 

Now, That’s An Idea!

Well, before you ask, I’m feeling a lot better. I guess the writing out really helped. πŸ™‚ I watched this fun movie today, laughed a lot and got no time to dwell on my sadness. It has this crazy song which I’ve been humming ever since I saw it…and in short, the day has turned out to be far better, happier than yesterday, definitely.

I read some random blogs…and even found some that I truly loved, beyond a one-time read, that is! πŸ™‚ And…guess what? I’m meeting Saba tomorrow morning *super-wide smile*. That was just the thing I needed. She is one person I love being with. Because she exudes a kind of positive energy and…I feel so happy when I’m with her. Not like I’m not happy being with my other friends. But being with Saba is special, in its own way. So, looking forward to meeting her! πŸ™‚ What are your plans for the weekend?

I’ve been thinking about topics/stuff I could blog about. And I did come up with a couple of possible thoughts but I’m just not in the mood to talk about anything in specific. Perhaps it’s my good ol’ laziness.

But guess what? I’ve an idea. Why don’t you give me a helping hand? πŸ™‚ A helping idea, to be precise! Well, what I’m implying is: if you have any possible ideas which you would like me to blog about (maybe because it’s interesting/not blogged about/you just want to know what I think/whatever), any ideas at all, do let me know, in the Comments section. And better yet, you could also post questions that you would like me to answer (personal or otherwise, though I could choose not to answer some overly personal questions). Come on, this is your one awesome chance of getting a post on your choice of topic in my awesome blog! πŸ˜€ Pour it in, people!

Meet-ups & Memories :)

Guess what? I met up with Saba on Wednesday! We were seeing each other after a year and a half (almost half, that is). And it was super-awesome! πŸ™‚ I loved it. We met at her place. And even though we didn’t do anything much except talk and eat, I loved the few hours I spent with her. In fact, I couldn’t believe it when it was time for me to leave. And we hadn’t even begun to talk, like you know, talk talk. We had been catching up on each other’s lives, talking about ex-classmates and my future plans…we had just begun! 😦

It’s always been like that. Every time I’m with Saba, time seems to pass ever so fast…and before we know it, hours would have gone by like minutes! Anyway, she lives nearby now. So, I guess that means lots more meet-ups! πŸ™‚

It’s always such a delight to meet someone so dear to you, after so long. And even though so much time has passed by, you still feel the same…and you kinda know, deep within, that things will always be the same. πŸ™‚ Even though you grow older or whatever, some bonds don’t change.

Today, I spent a lot of time talking to my youngest sister – Ann. I was telling her about my school time memories and fun. About this sir who was so not like a teacher, how he changed so suddenly and then we tried to get back at him by trying to break his chair (didn’t work out, anyway!). About the super-mad boys in my class (12 Std.) who used to say such crazy stuff that I could never go through a single hour without laughing out (atleast once). School was so much fun…even though we didn’t really realize it then. Miss those times! I suppose I’ll be saying the same about college, quite soon (or maybe, I’ve already started)! πŸ™‚