Strangers Breed Homesickness

Most of my friends were really happy after reading the previous post. Maybe I should write more of those – happy, chirpy posts.

Just now, while chatting with Ann, she asked me why I wasn’t posting anything. I told her I didn’t know what to write and I didn’t want to post nonsense. She, being far cleverer than me, pointed out that our mind is never devoid of thoughts, that all I had to do was pick one, write about it. And then, it struck me – she is right! There are such a lot of thoughts in my head. Now, when I sat down to blog, all the thoughts came rushing into my mind. And I don’t know what to write about.

Ann was telling me about how I used to post everyday, once upon a time…and how she used to love it. Well, I miss those times, too. Those were times when I used to stay back at the college lab until 8pm just so that I could blog in peace. Times when I couldn’t go a single day without blogging (which was kinda bad on you readers, since you had to read all the bullshit I came up with).

I think I’ve gone down a notch in terms of confidence, because you need a hell lot of confidence to write shit and publish it for the whole world to see. And now, when I think of doing that, I hear this voice in my head pulling me back, telling me I should not do anything that could make my readers hate me. You know what? I’m done listening to the stupid voice. Because, more than pleasing readers, I’m here to write, find happiness in it and just be myself. So, I took a decision. I’m not going to try too hard to please anyone, I’m just going to write/blog and be happy. Makes sense, right? ย ๐Ÿ™‚

There are times when I miss college very badly. More than the place, I miss the experience of having familiar faces all around. I knew people, they knew me. There’s a certain sense of comfort when you’re surrounded by people you know, finding some familiar faces everywhere. Like there’s always someone or the other you can go to, you are not alone (unless you want to be). That’s something I miss about college.

Over here, I see so many strangers while walking to and from work. I meet so many strangers at work. Strangers I’m getting closer to. But strangers, nonetheless. And it gets really distressing, sometimes. You don’t know if you can open up, trust or be yourself with someone. After a certain point, you get tired of being careful, and wish you could let your guard down. You long to see a face you know, a face that would beam with recognition on seeing you. I’m going through that phase right now. The initial excitement of being at a new place, meeting new people and all that has subsided (begun to, actually), giving way to the homesickness that I had been ignoring all this while.

I miss people, being around people I know. I miss my family. I miss places, knowing where to go, seeing familiar places & spots. I know it will pass. Until then, I just have to deal with it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Have you ever experienced anything of this sort? If yes, how did you get over it?ย 

Miss Me While I’m Gone…

By this time tomorrow, I’ll be in a different country…and when I say different, I mean different in every possible way. As different as heaven and hell, if you ask me. And the funniest part – that is supposedly myย homeplace! I know this (leaving) is completely my decision and nobody else’s. But that doesn’t stopย me from feeling sad. Nothing will, in fact.

I know I haven’t posted anything during the past few days. Well, I’ve been shopping, trying to spend time with Ann, packing, blah blah. I must have opened up the ‘add new post’ page atleast twice each day…but never felt like writing anything. And, even if I had, I’m positive it wouldn’t have been worth publishing. I hate lamenting in public (all those depressing, emo status updates in Facebook? I HATE THEM!). I didn’t want to end up doing something I hate.

Time to leave, I suppose…

So, I’m leaving tonight…will reach God’s Own Country by early morning. I don’t know how long I’ll have before I leave to Bangalore. But I have a lot of travelling to do before that. I’ll probably have to meet Merlin on Wednesday, go to college to get some certificates and stuff, meet up some friends, so on. I’m glad I’ll have enough to keep me distracted. I wouldn’t want too much time by myself, I know I’ll be reminded of the fact that I’m away from home.

I have no clue when I’ll be posting next. It will take some time. So, while I’m away trying to settle down into a new phase in life, do bear with my silences and occasional laments. I’m going to miss this space, just as much as I’ll miss home. I’ll try my best to be back soon. Wish me good luck. And, most importantly…Miss me! ๐Ÿ™‚

A Dose of Down-Time :(

Today is one of those days. I’m feeling so low. OK, not without a reason, I admit. Some issues have come up with the schedule and it’s getting on my nerves…which is VERY VERY BAD! Because I’m not in the mood to deal with anything of this sort, at the moment. But of course, Mr.Life (or is it Ms. or Mrs.)ย  has this way of flinging problems my way whenever I’m trying to deal with another. Does he/she think it’s funny? Because if he/she does, then it’s NOT! It’s seriously not funny to have to worry about something when I’m already a little low…when I want to be happy… Mr. Life, I think you should quit your job and let some awesome people (=ME, obviously) take over! I could do so much better than you! So, if you want to keep your job, pull yourself together, and get your act right!

Ha! That felt a lot better. It always helps me calm down when I have someone/something to shout at… ๐Ÿ™‚ So relieving! What do you do to let out steam? (Just in case you love shouting out, like me, consider this a perfect platform for your pent-up anger! Always welcome, people!)

I’m sorry I won’t be coming up with interesting thoughts or experiences today, because all I want to do right now is let out the frustration I’m feeling. And I think I did that quite fine, for now! It’s weird how my blog has become something like a place where I (kinda) talk to myself (since I’m not saying all this to anyone in particular; I’m just saying it, right?)…I blurt out whatever’s in my head, good, bad, happy, sad, everything. It’s weird how I find joy in it! And now, I come over here just to shout out my anger, at nobody in particular! Isn’t that, like, super-cool? Thank you, WordPress! You rock! Happy weekend, people! ๐Ÿ™‚

P.S : Maybe Friday the 13th is actually unlucky for me! Anyway, Happy Friday the !3th, everyone! ๐Ÿ˜€