Back to an Empty House

I must admit, I absolutely enjoyed writing the previous post. For one thing, I love writing letters. And when it’s to oneself, there’s quite a lot of introspection that goes into it, so much that it feels like an experience in itself. But then, working on a great post (if I may say so myself) has a downside. The thought of writing another one that matches up to it or even gives you the same level of satisfaction is pretty pressurising. Pair that up with the sense of laziness that constantly hits me (especially when it comes to facing a blank page!) and you’ve got one sad blog-space.

However, that’s not all. There is another reason behind my reluctance (or slackness, whatever you’d like to call it) to blog more regularly. To put it simply, it’s not the same anymore. The bloggers I used to interact with don’t write much anymore (or they have abandoned me since this place has been gathering dust for quite a while), same goes for the ones I used to ‘follow’ and truly loved. It’s a bit like coming back to an empty house.

What’s more, even the Freshly Pressed (FP) page on WordPress (WP) has changed. And truth be told, I don’t like it! Freshly Pressed was where I used to come across some of the best pieces across the WP-world. From posts that made me laugh (and click the Follow button instantly) to ones that gave me a much-needed dose of inspiration, I’ve found it all in the FP section. Not to mention the secret, vain dream of someday getting featured there. But then, its replacement — the Discover page — doesn’t seem as ‘personal’ as the older version. In fact, the collection seems too carefully curated. Apart from posts from popular blogs, the seemingly random picks are all too eloquently written and rather impersonal. Or atleast there were hardly any that I could connect with, let alone be inspired by.

In short, adding to what I said earlier, it’s a bit like coming back to an empty house in a completely transformed neighbourhood. Which is basically what pulls me back or confuses me every time I fight lethargy and open up the ‘Add New Post’ page.

Nevertheless, sometimes the urge to write just wins (as it should) and a rambling like this is what comes out of it. Hopefully, it won’t take as long next time around.

Missing Bloggers

You put in so much of your time and effort into something that means nothing but boring work to you, and instead of a word of appreciation, all you get is rebuke! Sounds familiar? Well, I’m going through a similar situation at college and it’s frustrating. It has been going on for so long that I feel sick just thinking of the whole episode. This entire month has been depressing to the extreme. Big-time-BAD start to 2015, I say! I hope things get better soon! *Fingers crossed*

Anyway, my Facebook page tells me I haven’t posted in 11 days. I thought it was time I did something about that. And, here I am!

Sometime last month, I read a post by my blogger-friend, Manu Kurup, saying he intended to stop blogging. He said it would be his last post. And, sure enough, it was. He has deleted his site. He might have had his own reasons, although I don’t know what they were. Nevertheless, his post came as nothing less than a shock to me.

I don’t remember how I stumbled onto his blog but, well, someday, I did. I wasn’t a regular reader but I made it a point to catch up on his posts whenever possible. His writing style and thoughts were what I loved the most. We might have been strangers, on a personal level. But there is something very intimate and special about a person’s writing, reading what someone else has written. It’s kind of like getting a glimpse of their mind, a reflection of their perceptions. Perhaps, that is why I feel/felt a sense of belonging with all my fellow bloggers, including Manu.

When I read his final post, I was gripped by an emotion that I can only describe as “loss”. Something akin to what I’d feel if I were meeting a friend for the last time. While I do miss his blogposts, the experience opened my eyes to a fact I had never bothered to look at. Just like we take people for granted in life, I’ve been stupid enough to think that my readers and fellow bloggers will always remain the same. I never considered the possibility that they could also leave or fade off. Now that I’ve (almost) resumed regular blogging, I notice the absence of many blogger-friends who used to comment and support me. And I miss them all!

Anyhow, for those who have still hung around, this is a confession-plus-apology of sorts, to let you know I’ll try not to repeat the mistake! Keep hanging around! 🙂

Of Laws & Books

First post of 2015! 

I think Sir Isaac Newton was a genius simply for formulating the First Law of Motion – the Law of Inertia. Not that his other achievements are less brilliant, but I think the First Law is my all-time, top favourite. I see it manifested in so many ways, all around me, particularly in me. I wonder if Newton must have thought about the implications of his law in a personal aspect. Most people continue with their state of rest or activity (read: routine) unless acted upon by another force, which, I believe, could also be internal ( like, self-motivation, inspiration). My blog would be a perfect example. I remain lazy and “busy” until some sort of external/internal force comes into play. Once I get into the routine of regular blogging, I tend to continue it (like now). Until evil forces deter me. In this context, evil forces would be anything that keeps me from blogging. So, that’s the application of Law of Inertia in my blogging habits.

Much to my embarrassment, my WordPress Annual Report says that I’ve put up hardly 10 posts in 2014. And, trust me when I say I feel truly bad about it. I hope 2015 turns out to be a better year for my blog and that I’ll be better able to overcome the sinister powers (including lethargy & laziness).

I finally completed ‘The Fountainhead’ by Ayn Rand. Thanks to my schedule and lack of effort, it took me almost 5 months! That’s nothing less than atrocious, I’d say. But I’m glad I persisted. Because it’s one hell of a book! I absolutely loved it. I agree it has serious content in the form of concepts and philosophies which might seem a little too complex at times, but I enjoyed it, nevertheless. I was drawn to some of the concepts, like, for instance, the perspectives about selflessness as “the lack of self” and selfishness as “self given prime importance”. Another thought that appealed to me was the need of man to create for himself, rather than for others.

The book has some of  the strongest characters I’ve ever come across. In fiction, that is. I’m not going to harbour the fantasy that such people could exist in real life! I highly doubt there can be individuals like Howard Roark and Dominique Francon who are so rooted in their principles. I loved the character of Gail Wynand as the man “who could have been”. At the risk of sounding sentimental, I’ll admit that my heart went out to him, reading of the pain he suffered when he realized his power over people would prevail only as long as he said what they wanted him to say.

While reading, I have the habit of underlining whatever catches my attention. My copy of ‘The Fountainhead’ is filled with very frequently underlined parts. Which clearly indicate how much it has captivated me. So much that I think I’ll need a bit of time before I move on to another book. And, even when I do, I know the characters of this one will still be etched in my mind.

Stepping back into real life, my college will reopen tomorrow…which means: back to the same, hectic routine. But I’m going to try and overcome the force of “busyness” so that I can continue in this state of activity. 🙂